Holiday Gift-Giving Etiquette from Anna Post

Recently I was able to meet Anna Post. Naturally our conversation turned to the similar philosophies of etiquette, entertaining, and creating traditions. I am honored that she accepted my request to write a guest post for Table Talk about holiday etiquette. Her advice is both contemporary and timeless. Thank you Anna.  

Compliments of the
Emily Post Institute

It was my pleasure to recently visit Seattle for the first time while there to promote my new book, “Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18^th Edition.” One of the highlights was a trip to Rosanna, Inc. and the wonderful opportunity to sit down with owner Rosanna Bowles. Rosanna was kind enough to show me her world—and I found our opinions on entertaining, traditions and kindness to be very much in tandem. Rosanna’s beautiful creations represent easy elegance, entertaining for the pleasure of bringing people together and the values of tradition. These are also the goals of etiquette.

Rosanna asked me to share with you, her readers, what interests people most at this time of year. Not surprisingly, I hear lots of questions about gift-giving etiquette, so compiled here are some of the most popular—which I hope will help you enjoy your holiday season.

Should I bring a hostess gift to a holiday cocktail party? What would be an appropriate gift?

Hostess gifts are totally optional for a cocktail party. A bottle of wine or a batch of blueberry muffins for the next morning are both appropriate. You might also get in the festive spirit of the event and select a holiday goodie or an ornament for your host. Always enclose a small signed gift card as your hostess will want to know who brought the gift and may not have time to receive it from you—much less open it—at the party.

Rosanna's French Perfume decoupage
make beautiful hostess gifts

Should I bring a hostess gift to a dinner party?

Yes. But keep it simple. Anything that distracts your hostess from the tasks at hand may be a nuisance. Food or flowers that need to be tended to are not the best options. A candle or soaps and a soap dish, a small potted plant or flowers already arranged in a vase, are better bets. Wines or chocolates are also nice, though don’t be surprised or offended if your host saves them to enjoy later, as he or she may already have their menu for the evening planned. Overall, keep it uncomplicated and under $20, and base your selection on your host’s taste.

Is it necessary to write thank-you notes to family members?

If you’ve sincerely thanked someone in person for a gift, a thank-you note isn’t obligatory. But, it’s never wrong to write a thank-you note. If you receive gifts from friends or family that you won’t see to thank in person, write them a thank-you note—both to let them know their gift arrived and that you appreciated it. Keep thank-you notes or personalized stationery and stamps on hand to make it easy to check them off your list.

Since I'm single, my brother and his wife only give me one gift, but I buy one for each of them as well as gifts for their two children. It's a bit much for my budget. Would it be inappropriate if I gave them just one house or family gift?

Not at all. Tell your brother and sister-in-law that your affection for them remains the same, but you're planning to adjust your gift giving this year. A house or family gift is a great idea. Other suggestions: some families adopt a “kids only” present policy; or, they draw names out of a hat so that each person concentrates on buying only one gift for one person. Discuss your ideas in advance—they may even welcome the news. And there’s more to the holiday season than gifts. Spending time with your brother’s family instead of showering them with gifts may be just as enjoyable for all involved.

I have a friend who's unemployed. I don't expect or want her to spend money on a gift for me, but should I buy a gift for her? I don't want to make her feel guilty.

If this is someone that you usually exchange gifts with, she’ll probably welcome a gift hiatus this year. It may be uncomfortable for her to discuss her financial situation, so you may want to bring it up yourself. Suggest an afternoon or lunch outing—on you—instead of the traditional gift swap. Of course, there’s no rule that friends must exchange gifts of equal value, so your friend may opt to continue the tradition—with homemade or less expensive presents.

Every year I get at least one party invite that asks guests to dress “festive”. What does that mean? Would it be rude to call the hostess to ask?

"Festive dress" usually means dressy with a nod to whatever holiday you are celebrating: something a little more fun than what you’d wear to work, something not quite as fancy as what you’d wear to a black tie event. Bring in the holiday element with color or something shiny or sparkly. It’s certainly fine to call the hostess and ask her intentions, too. Who knows? Maybe she’s thinking Santa hats and elf shoes. . .

For more on party attire, visit the Emily Post web site.

If you've only been dating someone a short while, how do you decide how extravagant to be with your holiday gift?

The amount you spend on the gift should be based on your affection for the person and your budget, as well as the seriousness of your relationship. Anything too expensive or extravagant would probably be awkward at this point. Don’t let something like a holiday gift get in the way of a new relationship. There’s no downside to keeping things simple. Think little things for the kitchen or house, something to do together like games or outdoor equipment, or even tickets to an event or dinner out.

Should I give a seasonal gift to the mail carrier?

It’s a nice gesture. The U.S. Postal Service has rules about holiday gifts, though: No cash and the value of the gift can’t exceed $20. Also, be sure to enclose a thank-you note and say something like, “Thanks for all you do throughout the year.” It’s okay if you don’t know their name.


For more information on holiday gifts and tips for service providers visit the Emily Post web site.

www.rosannainc.com

My Holiday Rituals

In the third of our Holiday Entertaining Series Collaborative posts between Rosanna's Table & Family Eats, we look at the Tradition of Christmas.  Be sure to gather ideas and delicious recipes from the Family Eats article, Celebrating the Art of Giving: Gifts from the Kitchen.

The winter months give us many opportunities to establish traditions that can last for generations.  The repetition of traditions and rituals helps us grow roots; it allows us to take part in the legacy spanning many generations.  When we practice a tradition, we are in fact linking ourselves to the chain of human history, providing a continuation of the kind of life that humans have lived since the beginning of civilization.

Our family traditions begin when we decorate the Christmas tree.  I make hot toddies (see recipe below) and my mother's Christmas sugar cookies.  I play a variety of Christmas music, including jazz renditions sung by Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald, and classical pieces by Luciano Pavarotti and Placido Domingo.  For my family, this night represents the beginning of winter holiday festivities.  Together we transform the house, and when we're finished, we find ourselves surrounded by the magical beauty of the holidays.

Another special tradition is to prepare a special Italian dinner every Christmas Eve: risotto with osso bucco.  My family looks forward to the evening not just because it's a holiday, but because they know we'll be eating one of their favorite meals that comes around only once a year.  When I set my table, I always use the same Rosanna holiday dishes that I've used for years.  Sometimes I also mix in my mother's vintage silver and porcelain serving pieces, which in turn came from my grandmother's china cabinet.  I incorporate these family heirlooms to create a table that shows the layers of our family's history.

My daughters always look forward to gathering by the tree after dinner to open one Christmas gift.  The room is lit by tiny lights and candles, and perhaps a warming fire.  In these moments we share memories of past holidays and fond memories of the past year.

There are many ways to celebrate the holidays of the season as there are many nationalities and religions and cultures.  (Family Eats shares a recipe for Grandma's Bohemian-Czech Hoska Bread.)  With such a variety of ceremonies and rites that have been passed down through the ages, you can simply choose to continue with established cultural traditions or create brand-new traditions with special significances that are distinctly yours.  Tradition is the glue that binds us together and makes the holidays a time that everyone looks forward to celebrating.

Rosanna's Hot Toddies
They are very simple to prepare and warm the body as well as the heart when the festivities are taking place.  Make sure to use good-quality lemons and oranges; they make a difference in the flavor of the toddy.  The oranges should be sweet and juicy.  I prefer Cognac, but brandy, rum, or Irish Whiskey would be delicious, too.  For children's toddies, simply omit the liquor and add an extra slice of orange.

serves 1
3 strips lemon zest
1 slice of orange
1 sprinkle of cinnamon
1 sprinkle of freshly grated nutmeg
1 jigger Cognac
Boiling water

Muddle all the ingredients except the water in an oversized porcelain Rosanna holiday mug. Fill with boiling water and let steep for a few minutes.

www.rosannainc.com

Diner En Blanc

As the last traces of summertime disappeared into the fast approaching autumn, a group gathered in historic Gasworks Park for a magical evening of food and friendship. The ingredients were unusual enough catch the attention of a few hundred Seattleites:  secrecy, creativity, synchronization, camaraderie, delicacies, and champagne. We were also instructed to dress a certain way: all in white.

I’m talking about Seattle’s very own, and very first, Dîner en Blanc (French for Dinner in White). The original Dîners began in France in 1988. Since then, Dîners have been happening all throughout Paris. Recently, food and performance art enthusiasts have orchestrated their own Dîners, far from the Seine and the clanging bells of Notre Dame Cathedral. The New York Times even ran an article about the event, “How 10,000 People Keep a Secret,” which came to Seattle, WA this summer.

Though the Dîners appear spontaneous to the uninitiated onlooker, this gastronomic flash mob in fact requires quite a bit of planning. In past blog posts and in my book, I’ve sung the praises of spontaneous dinner parties. However, a Dîner en Blanc is essentially the opposite of a spontaneous gathering. Unlike a spur-of-the-moment get together, a Dîner can’t happen without foresight and coordination. But all the planning gives the event a Byzantine, theatrical charm all its own.

The New York organizer Danile Laporte said it well: “Part of the event is the journey there.  To think ahead, to get ready, to get the table, to prepare your picnic, to choose your outfit.  Not making it easy is part of the allure.” 

These dinners, with their secret locations and semi-costumed festivity, unfurl much like a piece of theater. They create the same magical, exuberant, unexpected, co-created spectacle, both for the participants and the observers. The magic is the result of the preparation, born of the desire to set apart a space and time to create something extraordinary.

The scale of this Dîner was quite large. But that doesn’t mean you can’t arrange a similar type of “happening” in (or near) your home. All it takes is a little initiative and creativity, which becomes a reality with the collaboration of a group. A group, by the way, could be as tiny as three people. So, I encourage you to gather your friends to create your own Dîner en Blanc…or rouge (red,) vert (green), or bleu (blue)!

A little something out of the ordinary goes a long way. A special night like this creates not just a memorable evening, but a sense of wonder and a childlike delight that lasts long past the last guest vanishes into the night. 

Read about Seattle’s Dîner en Blanc in The Puget Sound Business Journal: “Elegant Flash Mob Dîner en Blanc a Success.”

www.rosannainc.com

Halloween Entertaining For Kids & Adults Alike

Many of you have already been introduced to our friends at Family Eats.  Today we’ve partnered with them to create blog entries about Halloween Entertaining.  Please make sure to read the Halloween Entertaining: Slow Sundays Goes Halloween post on their blog.  It has great tips for planning party food, setting the mood,  and getting your kids involved in the preparation.  There are some great food tips & recipes.  Look for us to partner together again in the near future.

Halloween Décor

There are so many ways to decorate for Halloween beyond putting a jack-o-lantern on the stoop.  The natural beauty of the fall season is plentiful and easy to infuse into your décor.  Select beautiful gourds, squash, and fall leaves to adorn your home.  Haystacks, kindly scarecrows, and lush fall wreaths can also be added into the warm earth tones of the season.

Calacas, from Mexico

Around my house we have a somewhat non-conventional Halloween tradition.  Years ago I started bringing back Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) decorations as presents for my daughters when returning from business trips to Mexico.  I have always enjoyed teaching them about different cultures and traditions.  On one visit I picked up a few small calacas (skeleton figurines).  They really liked the cute and decorated skeletons, and each time I have returned to Mexico I have brought home a few more. Over time our collection of calacas has grown, and each year we mingle them with our other Halloween décor.

Consider adding in a multi-cultural theme into your own Halloween celebration.  Whether it’s the Celtic All Hallows Eve, Christian All Saints’ Day, Mexican Day of the Dead, or any other, all humanity shares similar fascinations with the beyond.

Tricks & Treats For Snacking

After the fun-filled Pumpkin Carving Party you partook in following the tips by Family Eats, save some of the pumpkin seeds for roasting.  They make great snacks for children and adults alike and are easy to make.

I like to use extra-virgin olive oil and fine sea salt.  Here’s my recipe:

Preheat the over to 250° F.

Put the pumpkin seeds in a colander and rinse and use your hands to remove all the orange pulp from the seeds.  The seeds will be very slippery.

Lightly coat a baking sheet with oil.  Spread the pumpkin seeds out on the baking sheet and toss to coat them with oil.  The seeds should not be floating in oil, just covered lightly.

Season the seeds generously with sea salt.

Bake for 2 to 3 hours, until golden brown, turning them occasionally so that they brown evenly.  The seeds should roast very slowly.  Remove from the oven and taste for salt.  If needed, add another sprinkling of sea salt.  Let cool completely, then store in an airtight container.

Owl Cookies from "Coming Home"

Another recipe that your children can help you with in the kitchen is Owl Cookies.  Growing up, my mother made these owl cookies every Halloween.  Charming and delicious, they were always a hit with my friends.  The dough is a basic refrigerator-cookie dough that is made ahead of time and can also be frozen.  Children love to assemble and decorate these cookies, which feature chocolate chips for eyes and a giant salted cashew for a nose to make up the perfect owl face.  The Owl Cookies are perfect for Halloween school parties or can be done at home with the childrens’ help as part of their festivities.  (The complete recipe is published in my book Coming Home: A Seasonal Guide to Creating Family Traditions.)

Halloween Isn’t Just For Kids

Whether you have children at home or not, consider staging an adult dinner party around Halloween that sets the produce and bounty of the autumn season as the centerpiece of the celebration.  Serve baked squash, hearty roast chicken with porcini mushrooms, wild rice, and a delicious red wine.

For a less formal get-together, invite your friends over on Halloween to watch a classic scary movie and enjoy great finger food while you greet the trick-or-treaters.  My favorites are the 1979 version of Dracula and the 1963 version of The Haunting.  Choose some classical music to play when you’re not viewing the movie.  The “Dies Irae” of Mozart’s Requiem is appropriately spooky, as is “O Fortuna” from the Carmina Burana by Carl Orff or Bach’s Toccata and Fugue.  Serve a variety of foods that can be easily enjoyed during the movie.  Set out a selection of cheeses on a rustic cutting board.  Fill bowls with salted nuts, flatbreads, and olives.  (Family Eats also has some great snack food ideas including HomemadePretzels and Pumpkin Bread).  Drink a really great blood-red wine.  There is no better way to celebrate Halloween as an adult.

Whatever it is you decide to do, Halloween is a time of nostalgia.  Whether you’re continuing traditions of Trick-or-Treating started generations before, throwing an adult get-together or starting new traditions of your own, the magic and mystic of  Halloween has potential for spooktacular connections with loved ones.


For more tips on Halloween Entertaining for children's parties, as well as adult get-togethers, see Episode 3 of Rosanna TV, or listen to my recent Halloween radio interview with Amy Tobin, available on my YouTube Channel.

www.rosannainc.com

Pasta Bowls & Healthy Foods Make Easy Entertaining

With fall comes cooler temperatures and a desire to prepare our nest for the cold winter months.  We have a natural tendency to want to stay inside more as the days get shorter. Being inside doesn't mean we need to feel isolated or away from the world.  In fact, now is the perfect time to have friends and family over for an informal gathering.

Rosanna Canvas Totes

As the summer growing season comes to an end, we must take advantage of our last opportunities to find local fresh fruits and vegetables.   Fall is a great time to head to the farmers market.  Recently I made a trip to my local farmers' market and filled my Rosanna Canvas Tote with delicious fresh tomatoes.  I like to prepare fresh tomato sauce for my pasta when local tomatoes are at their peak, then freeze it in individual containers for use during the winter months.  It makes a quick go-to meal for my family, and gives me the assurance that it is healthy too.

Pasta sauce is easy to make.  (In a previous blog entry I shared my basic tomato sauce recipe.)  Italians make their pasta sauce with whatever they have in the kitchen.  My basic tomato sauce allows me to add in meats, vegetables, or turn it into a vodka sauce, depending on what I currently have in my kitchen.  It makes an easy start to the tradition of a Family Pasta Night.   If you don't have a Family Pasta Night yet, starting one will give your family a ritual to look forward to, a way to create memories, and a chance to sit together around the table and connect.

Pasta Italiana Collection

You might decide to have friends over for Pasta Night.  This is one of the easiest ways to entertain.  You can make dinner at the last minute, allowing you to spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your guests.  It was this idea that inspired my Pasta Italiana Collection.  Each of the 4 pasta bowls features one of my pasta recipes you can use for an upcoming Pasta Night.  The Pasta Italiana serving bowl makes it easy to serve family style meals and allows guests to serve themselves a second helping of the delicious pasta.

Farmer's Market Collection

Pasta bowls are fun, unique, and great for casual entertaining.  They can bring a splash of color to  your table.  I've also made my pasta bowls instructional. The Farmer's Market Collection is a set of 4 pasta bowls that are also ideal for soups, salads, and vegetables.  Each of the four bowls features one of the four seasons--spring, summer, fall, and winter--and is adorned with colorful seasonal vegetables that can be found at their peak in the specific season, making them not only beautiful and utilitarian, but also instructional.  I use the large serving bowl nearly every day in my house.

An important part of living healthy is knowing what to eat.  Studies show that the Mediterranean diet is one of the healthiest diets to follow.  (See previous post for details.)  Fill your table with healthy whole grain pastas, fresh salads, ripe tomato sauce, and don't forget the olive oil.  The Farmers' Market dipping dishes are perfect for dipping your bread in healthy olive oil.

Start a weekly tradition of Family Pasta Night or invite friends over this week for a Pasta Night.  The warmth you feel from the food will be matched only by the warmth you feel from connecting with others.

For more tips on Pasta Night, the collections in this post, and my tomato sauce recipe, watch Episode 2 of Rosanna TV, available on my YouTube Channel.

www.rosannainc.com

Life Mirrors Art Mirrors Life

Earlier this week I was contacted by a creative food artist who calls herself "Fairly Odd Mother".  She had an ambitious idea that really sparked my imagination, to replicate my Tea For Me, Too teaset using food.  I'm always one to foster creativity, and I was very interested in how my colorful stoneware mini tea set would translate into an edible food medium.

She posted her creation on her blog yesterday, and the result is certainly something that I had to write about.  Using everything from ice cream cones to chocolate, and fondant to gum paste, her interpretation of Tea For Me, Too is spot on.

Read about the creation of the Fairly Odd Mother's Tea For Me Too set at her Once Upon A Pedestal blog.

Creativity is something that sometimes lacks in this automated world that we live in.  With computers performing complex algorhythms, programs that auto-correct, and a barrage of mindless entertainment being thrown at us, we move along in this fast-paced world sometimes jumping from one thing to the next.  When we slow down, connect with the present, and live mindfully, our minds open and our creative spirit is allowed to grow.

The Fairly Odd Mother is a great example of this.  Take a look at her enthusiastic description of the process on her blog at Once Upon A Pedestal.  I'm confident that it will put a smile on your face, just as it did mine.

www.rosannainc.com

5th Annual Tablescape Winners

When we decided on the theme of the "Spontaneous Gathering" for this year's Tablescape Contest, our hope was that it would inspire people to invite loved-ones by for an improptu dinner, snack, or visit.  We wanted to remind people that it wasn't too long ago that having someone drop in was a celebrated event, and that gatherings didn't need to be planned out weeks in advance.  At Rosanna, we have truly been moved by your stories and elevated by your decor ideas.  As always, it was very difficult to choose winners among the dozens and dozens of entries received.  We are thrilled to share with you our picks and their stories.

FIRST PRIZE

Our First Prize winner is Kendall Weldon, age 11.  There was something about many of the entries this year by young people.  They were so fresh!  Kendall's design design, theme, and story truly moves me to be inspired by the rising generation.

Kendall chose Rosanna's Red Dots and Jolly Holiday
pieces as part of her tablescape.

Kendall's Story

My name is Kendall Weldon and I am 11 years old and have been part of your table setting contest for 3 years. I get together with my mom, aunt, and grandma and your table setting contest has now become a family tradition. I have such a fun time coming up with a table setting and love hanging with my family too! My Spontaneous table setting comes from watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas and thinking it would be fun to have a "WHO" inspired party. I would invite my 3 best friends for tea, dessert, and lots of giggles!

Kendall's tablescape is adorable, and I especially love how the tablescape contest has become a family tradition.  This Oregon family--comprised of matriarch Tresa Nichols, daughters Brooke Weldon and Ashley Nichols Lee, and now granddaughter, Kendall Weldon--truly embody the "Spirit of Rosanna" by making this an annual family ritual.  Husbands and brothers prepare the yard beforehand for the pictures, carry the chosen dishes outside, and do the photography.  As Tresa states, "We laugh, we fuss, we run in and out bringing the dishes outside and have a blast!"  Truly connecting with each other as part of this family tradition earns them this entire family the "Spirit of Rosanna" award.  Other family entries can be seen below.  (Click on the photo to enlarge).

Rosanna's Artist's Loft & Victoriana Noir products are featured.

SECOND PRIZE   
I loved the originality of the Spontaneous Gathering of our Second Prize winner, Andrea Spencer.  The youthfulness and joie de vivre of these young adults sitting down to a table together, without electronic devices, to enjoy each other's company is uplifting.

Andrea's Story
When we heard about the contest we decided to throw an UN-expected UN-birthday party.  Everyone had only days to get their costumes together and then we jumped down the rabbit hole to our own Wonderland.  The tablescape was a fun collaboration; with everyone contributing their tea pots and candlesticks.  The party was a big hit with mini iced-cupcakes with the words "eat me" on them, and a recitation of "The Jabberwocky."


Andrea's party will certainly not be soon forgotten by her guests, or by us here at Rosanna!




THIRD PRIZE
Lisa Moore's entry reminds us to enjoy life and all that surrounds us.  Her spontaneous picnic brunch in the mountains had, in her words, "all the pleasures of the stunning surroundings, quality food, and good hearts.  Picnics are a top passion of mine.  It's a way to escape the rush of our circular lives and step away to appreciate the beauty that is always there, but often forgotten."  You're right Lisa!  Thank you for sharing this reminder, and beautiful tablescape with us!

Lisa showcases Rosanna's La Vie Boho & Parisian Glass Collections

FOURTH PRIZE
With the end of our contest coinciding with the unofficial end of summer, I felt a longing for wanting more time outside near the beach.  Pia Vanhanen's entry really connected with me.  She said, "I have created a natural coastal theme for our table, using rocks from our local beaches as napkin weights in case of light evening winds.  I have collected shells and use them also as personal butter/oil dishes for each guest.  Driftwood and Japanese fishing floats add to the relaxed coastal charm."  Pia's tablescape reminds us all that spontaneous gatherings, like this table, should develop organically.

Pia's tablescape includes Rosanna's original Boho collection.

TABLE OF THE WEEK DRAWING

This year we also featured a Table of the Week on our Facebook and Twitter pages.  We looked through the entries that came in each week and chose one to showcase.  Last week we placed each of those entries in a drawing for a Rosanna Gift Certificate, and Bryn Howell, won the drawing.  

Bryn threw a Bridal Shower recently for her best friend and mixed in some vintage pink depression glasses in with items from the Rococo Noir Collection.  It's evident that the "love" and thought Bryn put into her tablescape made for an enjoyable shower.



INSPIRED GATHERINGS THAT CREATE TRADITIONS
Among the entries, there are quite a few honorable mentions that we know would inspire our readers---possibly in their design, their story, or their beauty.  We will be sharing those in a future blog post later this week.  Congratulations to all our winners, and a special thank you to everyone who entered our contest this year.  I hope that you will continue the tradition of having "Spontaneous Gatherings" with friends and neighbors and continue to truly connect with those around you.

www.rosannainc.com

PRIZE INFO FOR WINNING ENTRIES
Those entries that have been chosen will be notified by email by a member of our customer service team within the next week with details on how to claim their Rosanna Gift Certificate prize.  Please be patient, our website at www.rosannainc.com will be relaunched during this timeframe with an all new look, new shopping experience, and new products as part of our Fall/Winter Collection.  We want to make sure that your Gift Certificate is compatible with our new website.  If you have any questions in the meantime, please email info@rosannainc.com.